This is an abbreviated version of an article from the success roadmap posted earlier to selfgrowth.com.
Just about everyone longs to create more success both in life and in business. The drive to be all we can be and feel fully alive is commendable. Unfortunately, in our passion to have an excellent life, many of us get sidetracked by inadvertently becoming the victims of some enticing formulas for failure instead of relying on tested keys for success.
The issue, then, is "How can you stay away from the plight of those who are unprepared?" By taking your future in your own hands, as you are doing right now. And the easiest path to follow is in the shadow of individuals who have achieved what you want to achieve.
Three Common Blueprints for Failure and Potent Secrets of Success
1. A strategy of working harder, rather than smarter.
This is part of seeking the safety of the crowd. Most of us were taught to set our sights on a steady job with health insurance and some kind of retirement package. It is becoming decreasingly likely that this will happen and even more unlikely to be satisfying. Most employees now find themselves working extra hours and extra jobs just to get by.
If you want to create a genuinely awesome life, you have to work smarter. Put an end to herd thinking. To create different results, you have to do things differently. And if you look for the truth, you’ll see that working smarter means you can earn more while working much less.
2. Waiting for the ideal opportunity.
If you ask people when they intend to start doing the things they truly desire with their lives, the typical response comes in the form of a hazy reference to that perfect time someplace in the future.
You might have noticed that the perfect time never comes. The only time you have is the present. Opportunity, as they say, may only knock once. The fact that you’re reading this indicates that opportunity is at your door now. The key is to grab it and don’t let it slip out of your hands.
3. Groping blindly in the dark.
You are the creator of your life. If you don’t have a clear vision of what you desire in life, how can you possibly create success?
So form a clear picture of where you are heading and what life is going to be like when you get there. Set your focus on your goals. Have a picture of your brightest possible future in the forefront of your awareness on a daily basis and see how your life begins to transform.
With this image of a bright future in your thoughts, you can venture forth and make it become a reality. If you are realizing your purpose in life, enjoying the things that create the greatest sense of aliveness and give life meaning, giving up is not an option. Many truly successful people point out that the primary key to their success is that they didn't stop moving forward even when everyone around them quit.
The ones who succeed are those who keep going. Continue to take steps in direction of your dreams. It makes no difference how small these steps may be if you’re continuing forward. You may be astonished to find that even a small adjustment in your course turns into a significant shift over time. And the time to commit to your dream is now.
By Jean Wolff
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
How to Feel More Successful In Life
Every day you accomplish tasks, meet goals, check things off your to-do list, and become more successful in life. You continuously work towards having the life that you want, and everything you do is one step towards that life. But if you are anything like me you don’t feel successful every single day of your life – even though you’ve accomplished a lot in your days.
Feeling like a failure is habit-forming. We constantly focus on the things that we don’t do, or don’t succeed at in life, and we call ourselves failures because of these things. The truth is we have many more successes in life than failures but we choose to put our attention on the things we didn’t get done.
I’m not just talking about huge things that we are striving to be successful at in our lives. I’m also talking about the little things that we do every day that affect how we feel about ourselves.
Let’s say you are a business man who is trying to further his career and lose weight as well. Here’s an example of a typical day:
Feeling like a failure is habit-forming. We constantly focus on the things that we don’t do, or don’t succeed at in life, and we call ourselves failures because of these things. The truth is we have many more successes in life than failures but we choose to put our attention on the things we didn’t get done.
I’m not just talking about huge things that we are striving to be successful at in our lives. I’m also talking about the little things that we do every day that affect how we feel about ourselves.
Let’s say you are a business man who is trying to further his career and lose weight as well. Here’s an example of a typical day:
- Drive to work with no accidents.
- Accomplish all the tasks set out to do.
- Exercise 1 hour.
- Make an important phone call.
- Send an important email.
- Learn something new.
- Eat really crappy food the entire day.
This is what many people do, and it’s hard to feel successful when you focus on your failures. But there is a way to feel more successful in your life! Put the majority of your focus on your successes!
You can do this by reminding yourself every night of the successes you had during the day instead of the failure, and build on those successful endeavours for future success.
One way to do this is by keep a success journal. Every night before you go to bed write down at least 5 things that you succeeded at during the day. This will be personal to you but it can range from brushing your teeth to landing the big account! Anything that furthered you in your life, made you feel better, made you do better, and pushed you forward is a success.
Write down your success, why you felt is was a success, how you can add-on to that success, and your next action to take towards that success.
For example:
Success – Made an important phone call
Reason – Built a new relationship with an important person.
Further progress – Keep in contact with that person.
Next action – Arrange a lunch meeting for next Thursday with this new contact.
Making a habit of doing a success journal nightly will allow you to see that there are many things that you do during the day that you are successful at and it will stop you from focusing on your failures. It will also make you more successful during your day because you will be actively looking for things to do that you feel are a success and can write down later in your journal. And lastly the ‘next action’ step will keep you moving forward by scheduling in action orientated moves that build on your successes.
But remember that even failures are successes because you learn something from them. You can take what you learned and apply it to your next day. You probably realize that you don’t feel good eating crappy food and remember that lesson for the next day, so even the realization of your failure becomes a success!
Stop kicking yourself about things you didn’t do before your head hits the pillow and start focusing on your successes. Your health, happiness, and life will thank you.
By Kari Farmer
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Herd Mentality
Booths featuring products and services related to employee engagement, mobile learning, global performance, and results measurement were overflowing with conference attendees as I walked the trade show at a national conference where I was speaking. Just a few years ago the magnets were initiatives like total quality management, six sigma, diversity, work-life-balance, and customer driven.
Every few years there are band wagons of "solutions" for the ills troubling companies, with contingents of experts ready to sell the latest "fix" to eager herd-minded buyers. Reinforced by trade and business magazines featuring successful company examples of this "new" thinking, they're gobbled up like chocolate chip cookies in a kindergarten. It's interesting that started-but-failed initiatives aren't highlighted, or the long-term impact of unintended consequences scrutinized for what these flavor-of-the year programs elicit.
If generational differences are the headlines now filling business magazines, then you'd better start addressing them, right? If work-balance is unbalanced and hijacking your employees' morale, it's time to hire a consultant, right? Maybe. But what if "balance" is as illusive a concept as happiness, needing to be defined and managed by the individual not some company entity? Or it's a buzz-word for deeper issues undermining effectiveness in the workplace? What then?
The solution to these and other organizational issues is not herd thinking. Don't get me wrong. I'm not one to dismiss ideas or thought leaders who shift our collective perspective. Nor am I quick to ignore technological changes that make innovative communication more productive and efficient for businesses and individuals. And I'm certainly not suggesting that well-founded and sustained initiatives are not important for businesses or industries or bottom-line results. They are.
But the tag-along herd approach of throwing the latest program or consultant or technology at a problem, or cloning the practices of "best companies" for your department or organization can do more damage than good if these same initiatives are the wrong fit, or sit dormant after launch collecting dust on a shelf in management offices, only to be replaced with the latest, hottest, next thing that ignites a "gotta have it - gotta do it - this is the answer" mentality.
Herd-following fails when the behavior accountability for what is introduced is not linked to bottom line results, or integrated into workplace practices with rampant, sustained, patient focus.
The answers to complex problems that plague your business are usually not band wagon solutions. More often than not, people problems result when what leaders say and what they do are not in alignment.
If you introduce a new program as an important company initiative, but relegate it to HR or training or customer support to champion, instead of making it an accountable strategic objective, don't be surprised when it's as successful as those motivational posters hanging on bulletin boards.
If budget tightening happens when sales plummet, but you award yourself a bonus before freezing the salary of your staff, don't be surprised when discretionary efforts and innovative ideas get frozen, too. When you treat employees as one-size-fits-all interchangeable parts, don't be surprised when they treat customers that way. And when scathing emails from top leaders feel like parental tirades, don't be surprised if they're answered with sandbox antics.
You see, you can buy the latest social-networking interface for collaborative staff work, or the best learning programs for staff growth and development, or even the most innovative gadgets for staying connected, and you can even provide a stellar menu-driven employee benefit plan, but if you're missing the foundational pieces of credibility, trust, and respect with your staff, you're missing the ingredients needed for any sustainable and successful initiative. Want a winning organization? Start there.
By Nan Russell
Every few years there are band wagons of "solutions" for the ills troubling companies, with contingents of experts ready to sell the latest "fix" to eager herd-minded buyers. Reinforced by trade and business magazines featuring successful company examples of this "new" thinking, they're gobbled up like chocolate chip cookies in a kindergarten. It's interesting that started-but-failed initiatives aren't highlighted, or the long-term impact of unintended consequences scrutinized for what these flavor-of-the year programs elicit.
If generational differences are the headlines now filling business magazines, then you'd better start addressing them, right? If work-balance is unbalanced and hijacking your employees' morale, it's time to hire a consultant, right? Maybe. But what if "balance" is as illusive a concept as happiness, needing to be defined and managed by the individual not some company entity? Or it's a buzz-word for deeper issues undermining effectiveness in the workplace? What then?
The solution to these and other organizational issues is not herd thinking. Don't get me wrong. I'm not one to dismiss ideas or thought leaders who shift our collective perspective. Nor am I quick to ignore technological changes that make innovative communication more productive and efficient for businesses and individuals. And I'm certainly not suggesting that well-founded and sustained initiatives are not important for businesses or industries or bottom-line results. They are.
But the tag-along herd approach of throwing the latest program or consultant or technology at a problem, or cloning the practices of "best companies" for your department or organization can do more damage than good if these same initiatives are the wrong fit, or sit dormant after launch collecting dust on a shelf in management offices, only to be replaced with the latest, hottest, next thing that ignites a "gotta have it - gotta do it - this is the answer" mentality.
Herd-following fails when the behavior accountability for what is introduced is not linked to bottom line results, or integrated into workplace practices with rampant, sustained, patient focus.
The answers to complex problems that plague your business are usually not band wagon solutions. More often than not, people problems result when what leaders say and what they do are not in alignment.
If you introduce a new program as an important company initiative, but relegate it to HR or training or customer support to champion, instead of making it an accountable strategic objective, don't be surprised when it's as successful as those motivational posters hanging on bulletin boards.
If budget tightening happens when sales plummet, but you award yourself a bonus before freezing the salary of your staff, don't be surprised when discretionary efforts and innovative ideas get frozen, too. When you treat employees as one-size-fits-all interchangeable parts, don't be surprised when they treat customers that way. And when scathing emails from top leaders feel like parental tirades, don't be surprised if they're answered with sandbox antics.
You see, you can buy the latest social-networking interface for collaborative staff work, or the best learning programs for staff growth and development, or even the most innovative gadgets for staying connected, and you can even provide a stellar menu-driven employee benefit plan, but if you're missing the foundational pieces of credibility, trust, and respect with your staff, you're missing the ingredients needed for any sustainable and successful initiative. Want a winning organization? Start there.
By Nan Russell
Monday, May 2, 2011
The Art of Asking Questions
Mastering the Art of Asking Questions is essential if you want to succeed. It's not simply a matter of getting in the habit of utilizing questions in your interactions with people. It's really about learning how to ask the right questions at the right time.
Whether you're having sales conversations, coaching conversations, or working to develop others, learning how to ask good questions can be the difference between success and failure. What does asking the right questions at the right time mean? It means asking questions in such a way as to better understand the other person, their needs, and their motivations.
Since the questions asked and the flow of an effective conversation varies from person to person and from situation to situation, the best way to illustrate the Art of Asking Questions is by way of example.
Here is a sample sales conversation, conducted by someone not skilled at the Art of Asking Questions:
***************
Hi Bob, I'm calling about the great widgets my company sells. Do you have a few minutes to speak?
"Sure."
Great! Are you familiar with our brand?
"No, not really."
We offer widgets that solve a number of problems and have some great features. The new V210 - our mid-grade model - consumes 20% less energy than our competition and is 10% smaller. It comes in three different colors - red, black and white. Can I schedule a time with you to come by and show it to you?
"What's the price?"
It normally sells for $199, but I can offer it to you at a 25% discount - only $149.
"Do you have something you can send me?" Sure... what address should I send it to?
"123 Main St."
Great! I'll give you a follow-up call in about a week. OK?
"Yes, that would be fine."
***************
If you've been in sales, you already know the outcome of that conversation. The likelihood of closing a sale is slim and the salesperson will no doubt continue to try to reach the prospect again until they get discouraged and give up.
The next example is the same conversation conducted by someone who is better skilled at the Art of Asking Questions, but is not quite there yet:
***************
Hi Bob, my company helps companies like yours solve their widget problems. Do you have a few minutes to talk?
"Sure."
Do you currently use widgets in your business?
"Yes, we do."
Have you been pleased with the ones you have?
"Well, for the most part we are, but nothing's perfect."
The newer design of widgets have a number of improvements over older models. Would you like to hear more about some of the improvements?
"Sure."
Well, feature 1... , feature 2..., feature 3... We have a number of different models available. Do you have a budget in mind?
"Well, we haven't been actively looking up until now. Can you send me some information?" I'd rather come by and show you first-hand so you can really see what I'm talking about. Which would be better for you, Tuesday morning or Wednesday afternoon?
"How about Tuesday morning."
Great! I'll see you Tuesday morning then!
While it is possible that this salesperson may make a sale, it's far from a sure thing. Even though the prospect set the appointment, the salesperson really doesn't know anything about the prospect or the prospect's motivations.
The conversation would unfold very differently if the salesperson was skilled in the Art of Asking Questions:
***************
Hi Bob, my name is Paul and I help companies like yours solve any widget problems they have. Do you have a few minutes to talk?
"Sure."
Do you currently use widgets in your business?
"Yes, we do."
How often do you use your widgets?
"Pretty much every day."
To what extent? How much?
"About 3-4 hours every day."
It sounds like you rely on them pretty heavily.
"Yes, absolutely."
What aspects of your widgets work best for you?
"Well, for one thing they've been really reliable. We've had them for over 4 years. Also, we need the automated feed feature and that's been a life-saver. And the supplies are easy to find and affordable."
Sounds like they've served you well. Have you had any problems with them?
"Well, the only problem we've had is that they sometimes misfeed."
When you say they sometimes misfeed, specifically how often does that happen?
"Only once or twice a day."
Are there any features or functions you wish they had?
"It would be nice if they had a bigger bin so we didn't have to re-stock them so often." Anything else? Would it help if they could automatically stack the finished product?
"Can they do that?"
Ours can. I think it would make sense for us to get together. I can show you a widget I have that has a 99% reliability record, high-speed automatic feeding without jamming, a large bin, and automated stacking. Do you have about 25 minutes on Tuesday morning or would something like Wednesday afternoon work better for you?
"Let's do next Tuesday morning."
***************
As you can see, the last sales conversation unfolded very differently than the prior two. In the last conversation, the salesperson asked good questions - questions which uncovered what mattered to the other person, along with some motivations for making a change. (We didn't have time in this article to uncover all the motivations.)
Having a conversation like this helps the prospect to clarify what features he needed and highlighted problems and desires. Both parties knew exactly why they were getting together and the likelihood of closing a sale was extremely high.
When you master the Art of Asking Questions, you learn to ask questions which uncover motivations and you'll do a better job of selling, coaching, and developing others.
By Michael Beck
Whether you're having sales conversations, coaching conversations, or working to develop others, learning how to ask good questions can be the difference between success and failure. What does asking the right questions at the right time mean? It means asking questions in such a way as to better understand the other person, their needs, and their motivations.
Since the questions asked and the flow of an effective conversation varies from person to person and from situation to situation, the best way to illustrate the Art of Asking Questions is by way of example.
Here is a sample sales conversation, conducted by someone not skilled at the Art of Asking Questions:
***************
Hi Bob, I'm calling about the great widgets my company sells. Do you have a few minutes to speak?
"Sure."
Great! Are you familiar with our brand?
"No, not really."
We offer widgets that solve a number of problems and have some great features. The new V210 - our mid-grade model - consumes 20% less energy than our competition and is 10% smaller. It comes in three different colors - red, black and white. Can I schedule a time with you to come by and show it to you?
"What's the price?"
It normally sells for $199, but I can offer it to you at a 25% discount - only $149.
"Do you have something you can send me?" Sure... what address should I send it to?
"123 Main St."
Great! I'll give you a follow-up call in about a week. OK?
"Yes, that would be fine."
***************
If you've been in sales, you already know the outcome of that conversation. The likelihood of closing a sale is slim and the salesperson will no doubt continue to try to reach the prospect again until they get discouraged and give up.
The next example is the same conversation conducted by someone who is better skilled at the Art of Asking Questions, but is not quite there yet:
***************
Hi Bob, my company helps companies like yours solve their widget problems. Do you have a few minutes to talk?
"Sure."
Do you currently use widgets in your business?
"Yes, we do."
Have you been pleased with the ones you have?
"Well, for the most part we are, but nothing's perfect."
The newer design of widgets have a number of improvements over older models. Would you like to hear more about some of the improvements?
"Sure."
Well, feature 1... , feature 2..., feature 3... We have a number of different models available. Do you have a budget in mind?
"Well, we haven't been actively looking up until now. Can you send me some information?" I'd rather come by and show you first-hand so you can really see what I'm talking about. Which would be better for you, Tuesday morning or Wednesday afternoon?
"How about Tuesday morning."
Great! I'll see you Tuesday morning then!
While it is possible that this salesperson may make a sale, it's far from a sure thing. Even though the prospect set the appointment, the salesperson really doesn't know anything about the prospect or the prospect's motivations.
The conversation would unfold very differently if the salesperson was skilled in the Art of Asking Questions:
***************
Hi Bob, my name is Paul and I help companies like yours solve any widget problems they have. Do you have a few minutes to talk?
"Sure."
Do you currently use widgets in your business?
"Yes, we do."
How often do you use your widgets?
"Pretty much every day."
To what extent? How much?
"About 3-4 hours every day."
It sounds like you rely on them pretty heavily.
"Yes, absolutely."
What aspects of your widgets work best for you?
"Well, for one thing they've been really reliable. We've had them for over 4 years. Also, we need the automated feed feature and that's been a life-saver. And the supplies are easy to find and affordable."
Sounds like they've served you well. Have you had any problems with them?
"Well, the only problem we've had is that they sometimes misfeed."
When you say they sometimes misfeed, specifically how often does that happen?
"Only once or twice a day."
Are there any features or functions you wish they had?
"It would be nice if they had a bigger bin so we didn't have to re-stock them so often." Anything else? Would it help if they could automatically stack the finished product?
"Can they do that?"
Ours can. I think it would make sense for us to get together. I can show you a widget I have that has a 99% reliability record, high-speed automatic feeding without jamming, a large bin, and automated stacking. Do you have about 25 minutes on Tuesday morning or would something like Wednesday afternoon work better for you?
"Let's do next Tuesday morning."
***************
As you can see, the last sales conversation unfolded very differently than the prior two. In the last conversation, the salesperson asked good questions - questions which uncovered what mattered to the other person, along with some motivations for making a change. (We didn't have time in this article to uncover all the motivations.)
Having a conversation like this helps the prospect to clarify what features he needed and highlighted problems and desires. Both parties knew exactly why they were getting together and the likelihood of closing a sale was extremely high.
When you master the Art of Asking Questions, you learn to ask questions which uncover motivations and you'll do a better job of selling, coaching, and developing others.
By Michael Beck
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Five Awesome Tips for Being Fit for Success
To create health and wealth and to be fully alive, you need to assume responsibility for the life you are creating. This begins with your health and well-being. If the ultimate goal is to be vibrant healthy and successful, you have to take command of your life.
For this to happen, you have to look past the physical body for the essential ingredients of being fit for success. If you understand that you are more than the eyes can see, then you are ready to open to being fit for success physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
Five Awesome Tips for Being Fit for Success
1. Maintain a positive perspective. Your perspective on life is a plays a major part in being healthy, wealthy and alive. The easiest way to have a positive outlook is to focus on why you want to be alive.
If you get out of bed each day feeling energized about the events of the coming day, you are adding to your vitality and wellbeing. If you get out of bed cursing the circumstances of your life, you are actively repressing your sense of aliveness. It's not difficult to recognize that these points of view have direct effects on your physical health, as well as your potential for creating success and prosperity.
2. View yourself as having vibrant health. This tackles with the need for being positive more directly. If you recognize that the mind is a powerful thing, you realize that the bottom line and most critical factor for being vibrantly healthy is the way you perceive yourself. Radiant wellness emanates from inside of you. It's here that you can find the positive messages behind the problems you face , so you can transform them into keys to health and wealth.
3. Affirm that you are improving with each passing day. From a spiritual point of view, our limiting beliefs are illusions. As you release these thoughts of limitation, you can realize your full human potential.
Do you regard yourself as being on a downtrend in terms of your health and fitness for success? Or do you think about feeling more and more alive, healthy, and wealthy every day? When you're regaining health, maintaining a strong belief that it is happening in this moment is vitally important.
4. Create a nurturing environment. Many of us have negative people around us. When you're healing, being in a highly positive environment is critical. In fact, it's also the most essential component for becoming successful and wealthy when you are well.
Remove all possible negativity from your life. When recovering from illness, this might mean staying away from pessimistic friends and family members, which may take some doing. But a massive dose of positivity is essential.
5. Take the best possible care of Yourself. Every one of us needs to develop the ability to create a supportive environment for ourselves and reduce tension to create vibrant wellbeing. You must know how to create limits and prioritize your health and aliveness.
This is challenging for those who are accustomed to caring for everyone except themselves. On the other hand, it's a relief to treat yourself well.
Open to a New World by Taking Action
When you take responsibility for your wellness, prosperity, and vitality, the final key is to behave as though the life you want is here with you now. Remember, if you keep doing the same things you have done before, you will keep getting the same results. On the other hand, any changes you make now grow into tremendous shifts over time as you become increasingly healthy, wealthy, and fit for success.
By Jane Mountrose
For this to happen, you have to look past the physical body for the essential ingredients of being fit for success. If you understand that you are more than the eyes can see, then you are ready to open to being fit for success physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
Five Awesome Tips for Being Fit for Success
1. Maintain a positive perspective. Your perspective on life is a plays a major part in being healthy, wealthy and alive. The easiest way to have a positive outlook is to focus on why you want to be alive.
If you get out of bed each day feeling energized about the events of the coming day, you are adding to your vitality and wellbeing. If you get out of bed cursing the circumstances of your life, you are actively repressing your sense of aliveness. It's not difficult to recognize that these points of view have direct effects on your physical health, as well as your potential for creating success and prosperity.
2. View yourself as having vibrant health. This tackles with the need for being positive more directly. If you recognize that the mind is a powerful thing, you realize that the bottom line and most critical factor for being vibrantly healthy is the way you perceive yourself. Radiant wellness emanates from inside of you. It's here that you can find the positive messages behind the problems you face , so you can transform them into keys to health and wealth.
3. Affirm that you are improving with each passing day. From a spiritual point of view, our limiting beliefs are illusions. As you release these thoughts of limitation, you can realize your full human potential.
Do you regard yourself as being on a downtrend in terms of your health and fitness for success? Or do you think about feeling more and more alive, healthy, and wealthy every day? When you're regaining health, maintaining a strong belief that it is happening in this moment is vitally important.
4. Create a nurturing environment. Many of us have negative people around us. When you're healing, being in a highly positive environment is critical. In fact, it's also the most essential component for becoming successful and wealthy when you are well.
Remove all possible negativity from your life. When recovering from illness, this might mean staying away from pessimistic friends and family members, which may take some doing. But a massive dose of positivity is essential.
5. Take the best possible care of Yourself. Every one of us needs to develop the ability to create a supportive environment for ourselves and reduce tension to create vibrant wellbeing. You must know how to create limits and prioritize your health and aliveness.
This is challenging for those who are accustomed to caring for everyone except themselves. On the other hand, it's a relief to treat yourself well.
Open to a New World by Taking Action
When you take responsibility for your wellness, prosperity, and vitality, the final key is to behave as though the life you want is here with you now. Remember, if you keep doing the same things you have done before, you will keep getting the same results. On the other hand, any changes you make now grow into tremendous shifts over time as you become increasingly healthy, wealthy, and fit for success.
By Jane Mountrose
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
What’s so H.A.R.D. about Change?
Why does change have to be so darn hard? We struggle to lose weight, get in shape, eliminate debt and stay (happily) married. Health issues such as heart disease, depression, addiction and obesity - preventable illnesses – are rampant. Why is it so hard to change?
The answer to this question describing eight strategies for success can be found in my new book, Does Change have to be so H.A.R.D.?, now available in bookstores.
Change IS hard. And it’s hard because, as humans, our brains are wired a certain way. When we understand how the mind works, we can use this knowledge to make change a little easier and stop battling with ourselves. We can use our minds to work WITH us instead of AGAINST us. We can learn to become the master of our thoughts and emotions instead of being at their mercy.
H.A.R.D.© is an acronym that stands for how we are enslaved by our Habits and Attachments and struggle with Resistance and Discouragement. In order to change, we must face these functions of the mind. It’s not that our brains are purposely trying to hurt us and hold us back; it’s just how the mind operates. They are games the mind plays with us. Accept it. Learn about them and then use the success strategies to help you to play these mind games and WIN!
HABITS
We are wired to keep things the same, to create routines and structure to get things done. Habits allow us to function well and to manage multiple things throughout the course of the day. Every time you try something new, you have to concentrate – all of your attention is required to learn the new activity, be it a new route to work or learning to type. After much practice, you can perform the task without thinking about it. It has become habit.
In the process, thousands of neurological connections have formed in your brain in order to make this activity ‘automatic’. You now know how to type without paying attention, for example, and perform the task subconsciously. In other words, you don’t need to focus on where to put your fingers and which key represents what letter. You just type.
Those neurological connections will need to be replaced in order to change to something new. It requires consistent attention and persistent action, something most people do not do well. When we are learning something for the first time, those neurological connections don’t exist; but when you want to change how you have been doing something, that’s when it becomes a challenge because you are ‘hard-wired’ to think and act a certain way.
ATTACHMENTS
We cling to people, places and things. Most people have a difficult time letting go and going with the flow of life. We want and expect things (and people) to last forever. We hold on tight to our youth as our bodies age, our ideas even when we are wrong, and our relationships even when we are very unhappy. To detach would require we accept things as they are, not as we wish they were. We hurt ourselves greatly when we hold onto our ideas about how things ‘should’ be as opposed to how they are.
Emotions are the key to identifying attachments. The harder you fight, the more stubborn you are, the more attached you are.
RESISTANCE
Resistance shows up in many ways including self-doubt, judgment, procrastination and excuses. Resistance is FEAR. Identifying your fear is the first step. Notice the behavior pattern such as making excuses or procrastinating, then name the fear so you can tame it. This is just another way the mind plays with you and keeps you stuck. As you begin to change or even think of changing something, you are threatening the status quo. Adrenaline is released just as if you were in real danger causing the ‘fight, flight or freeze’ reaction. And you respond with resistance.
But you are bigger than your fear. You just have to learn some tools to stand your ground.
DISCOURAGEMENT
We get discouraged when things don’t progress as quickly as we’d like them too. We may have unrealistic expectations for just how long something will take. We may think it will take a few weeks to find a new job when it can take many months. Our relationship with time causes us to become frustrated. We are impatient. And if we are not very good at acknowledging what success we do experience along the way, we will quit even though we may have come quite far.
Change is H.A.R.D. © because we succumb to what we know and give up. It just seems easier than to fight for what we want. Motivation is crucial for success and for continued progress toward our goals.
To be successful at making a change in your life, befriend your mind. Understand a little bit about how it works so that you can learn how to use it to assist you in creating the kind of life you love and enjoying the progress. Your mind is a tool for you to master and use to your advantage.
By Julie Donley
The answer to this question describing eight strategies for success can be found in my new book, Does Change have to be so H.A.R.D.?, now available in bookstores.
Change IS hard. And it’s hard because, as humans, our brains are wired a certain way. When we understand how the mind works, we can use this knowledge to make change a little easier and stop battling with ourselves. We can use our minds to work WITH us instead of AGAINST us. We can learn to become the master of our thoughts and emotions instead of being at their mercy.
H.A.R.D.© is an acronym that stands for how we are enslaved by our Habits and Attachments and struggle with Resistance and Discouragement. In order to change, we must face these functions of the mind. It’s not that our brains are purposely trying to hurt us and hold us back; it’s just how the mind operates. They are games the mind plays with us. Accept it. Learn about them and then use the success strategies to help you to play these mind games and WIN!
HABITS
We are wired to keep things the same, to create routines and structure to get things done. Habits allow us to function well and to manage multiple things throughout the course of the day. Every time you try something new, you have to concentrate – all of your attention is required to learn the new activity, be it a new route to work or learning to type. After much practice, you can perform the task without thinking about it. It has become habit.
In the process, thousands of neurological connections have formed in your brain in order to make this activity ‘automatic’. You now know how to type without paying attention, for example, and perform the task subconsciously. In other words, you don’t need to focus on where to put your fingers and which key represents what letter. You just type.
Those neurological connections will need to be replaced in order to change to something new. It requires consistent attention and persistent action, something most people do not do well. When we are learning something for the first time, those neurological connections don’t exist; but when you want to change how you have been doing something, that’s when it becomes a challenge because you are ‘hard-wired’ to think and act a certain way.
ATTACHMENTS
We cling to people, places and things. Most people have a difficult time letting go and going with the flow of life. We want and expect things (and people) to last forever. We hold on tight to our youth as our bodies age, our ideas even when we are wrong, and our relationships even when we are very unhappy. To detach would require we accept things as they are, not as we wish they were. We hurt ourselves greatly when we hold onto our ideas about how things ‘should’ be as opposed to how they are.
Emotions are the key to identifying attachments. The harder you fight, the more stubborn you are, the more attached you are.
RESISTANCE
Resistance shows up in many ways including self-doubt, judgment, procrastination and excuses. Resistance is FEAR. Identifying your fear is the first step. Notice the behavior pattern such as making excuses or procrastinating, then name the fear so you can tame it. This is just another way the mind plays with you and keeps you stuck. As you begin to change or even think of changing something, you are threatening the status quo. Adrenaline is released just as if you were in real danger causing the ‘fight, flight or freeze’ reaction. And you respond with resistance.
But you are bigger than your fear. You just have to learn some tools to stand your ground.
DISCOURAGEMENT
We get discouraged when things don’t progress as quickly as we’d like them too. We may have unrealistic expectations for just how long something will take. We may think it will take a few weeks to find a new job when it can take many months. Our relationship with time causes us to become frustrated. We are impatient. And if we are not very good at acknowledging what success we do experience along the way, we will quit even though we may have come quite far.
Change is H.A.R.D. © because we succumb to what we know and give up. It just seems easier than to fight for what we want. Motivation is crucial for success and for continued progress toward our goals.
To be successful at making a change in your life, befriend your mind. Understand a little bit about how it works so that you can learn how to use it to assist you in creating the kind of life you love and enjoying the progress. Your mind is a tool for you to master and use to your advantage.
By Julie Donley
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Creating A Sense of Urgency To Achieve Your Goals Faster
Over the years of studying successful habits and applying those habits on a consistent, daily basis, I found one habit that I consider to be the most critical to success. This habit is sure to be found in any high performing individuals. This habit is having the ability to be action oriented. Action oriented people do not hesitate. They move fast. To move fast, you must develop a sense of urgency in you life. That sense of urgency can be developed through a 5 step process
Develop The Habit To Think and Plan -
You must take the time everyday to think, plan and set the right priorities to become highly creative, useful and proactive. Over time you will find yourself launching quickly and strongly toward your purpose, vision and goals. This will allow yourself to work gradually, easily and continuously while having a laser type focus on your purpose. The result of advanced planning is the huge amount of productive and high valued tasks achieved each day. You will find yourself spending less time with idle socializing, wasting time and working on low value tasks.
Getting into "Flow" -
After developing the habit of focusing and working on high value tasks and staying consistent with that continuous level of activity, one will enter into a mental state called "flow. " The individuals who experience this mental state are the same individuals who have the highest state of performance and productivity. And when your in this state of mind, you feel elated, clear, happy and energetic.
Become More Alert and Aware -
When you are in this state of flow you function at a much higher plane of creativity. You feel more sensitive and aware to circumstances around you. And you often come up with brilliant ideas and insights that enable you to move ahead even more rapidly.
Develop a Sense of Urgency -
By developing a sense of urgency you can trigger this state of flow. This urgency is an inner drive and desire to get the job done quickly. This inner drive is an impatience that motivates you to get going and to keep going.
Make a "Bias for Action" -
With this deep-rooted sense of urgency, you develop a "bias for action." You take action rather than talking continually about what you are going to do. Your center of attention we be to take specific steps immediately. By employing this technique you concentrate on the things you can do right now to get the results you want and achieve the goals you desire.
By Keith Aul
Develop The Habit To Think and Plan -
You must take the time everyday to think, plan and set the right priorities to become highly creative, useful and proactive. Over time you will find yourself launching quickly and strongly toward your purpose, vision and goals. This will allow yourself to work gradually, easily and continuously while having a laser type focus on your purpose. The result of advanced planning is the huge amount of productive and high valued tasks achieved each day. You will find yourself spending less time with idle socializing, wasting time and working on low value tasks.
Getting into "Flow" -
After developing the habit of focusing and working on high value tasks and staying consistent with that continuous level of activity, one will enter into a mental state called "flow. " The individuals who experience this mental state are the same individuals who have the highest state of performance and productivity. And when your in this state of mind, you feel elated, clear, happy and energetic.
Become More Alert and Aware -
When you are in this state of flow you function at a much higher plane of creativity. You feel more sensitive and aware to circumstances around you. And you often come up with brilliant ideas and insights that enable you to move ahead even more rapidly.
Develop a Sense of Urgency -
By developing a sense of urgency you can trigger this state of flow. This urgency is an inner drive and desire to get the job done quickly. This inner drive is an impatience that motivates you to get going and to keep going.
Make a "Bias for Action" -
With this deep-rooted sense of urgency, you develop a "bias for action." You take action rather than talking continually about what you are going to do. Your center of attention we be to take specific steps immediately. By employing this technique you concentrate on the things you can do right now to get the results you want and achieve the goals you desire.
By Keith Aul
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Self Improvement Software Should Help You Do These 3 Things – And More!
Do you still use post-it notes or a daily planner to help you organize your day, week, and life? Do you find that they help you stay on track to your goals or just set you up for the day to get through it? And finally have you heard that there are different types of self-improvement software online to help you become successful in life?
Self improvement is such an important part of many people’s lives. Learning how to manage time, tasks, energy, and money to reach success in their career life, and personal life, is crucial. You can’t move forward in life if you don’t learn something new and apply it to your life. So when looking for a piece of software that can help you do all this make sure it offers you a few benefits – and more.
The software should help you organize your time and essentially show you how to get more done in less time, because our time is very important in life. If we waste too much time doing unproductive things and overlooking tasks that will help us be happier and move forward in life, then we can literally never get that back. Time is a tool, and a gift, and learning how to use it effectively is something that your self-improvement software should help you do.
The software should also help motivate you towards your goals whether they are short-term, medium-term, or long-term goals. Since most people trying to get somewhere in life, and improve themselves, already have goals set up for themselves this becomes a very important task for any self-improvement software. It should allow you to clearly see your goals and help you move towards those goals.
Another important feature of any self-improvement software is to make your life easier by being user-friendly. An easier life is what you are using it for after all! So if you find that you spend more time trying to figure out how to use it instead of actually using it then you may want to look elsewhere for another type of software that will be more user-friendly for you.
While these are three important features to look for in any self-improvement software there are other things that you may be looking for as well such as helping you to organize tasks in a productive manner or showing you how to focus precisely on specific goals. And of course price is a factor as well.
So get rid of the planner and post-it notes and start getting clearly organized! There are all kinds of software out there with different features to help make your life easier and more productive. Whichever one you choose make sure it does what you are looking for and helps you move forward in your life.
By Kari Farmer
Self improvement is such an important part of many people’s lives. Learning how to manage time, tasks, energy, and money to reach success in their career life, and personal life, is crucial. You can’t move forward in life if you don’t learn something new and apply it to your life. So when looking for a piece of software that can help you do all this make sure it offers you a few benefits – and more.
The software should help you organize your time and essentially show you how to get more done in less time, because our time is very important in life. If we waste too much time doing unproductive things and overlooking tasks that will help us be happier and move forward in life, then we can literally never get that back. Time is a tool, and a gift, and learning how to use it effectively is something that your self-improvement software should help you do.
The software should also help motivate you towards your goals whether they are short-term, medium-term, or long-term goals. Since most people trying to get somewhere in life, and improve themselves, already have goals set up for themselves this becomes a very important task for any self-improvement software. It should allow you to clearly see your goals and help you move towards those goals.
Another important feature of any self-improvement software is to make your life easier by being user-friendly. An easier life is what you are using it for after all! So if you find that you spend more time trying to figure out how to use it instead of actually using it then you may want to look elsewhere for another type of software that will be more user-friendly for you.
While these are three important features to look for in any self-improvement software there are other things that you may be looking for as well such as helping you to organize tasks in a productive manner or showing you how to focus precisely on specific goals. And of course price is a factor as well.
So get rid of the planner and post-it notes and start getting clearly organized! There are all kinds of software out there with different features to help make your life easier and more productive. Whichever one you choose make sure it does what you are looking for and helps you move forward in your life.
By Kari Farmer
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